“Moooooomyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! My Iguana is on the roof!” I heard my 9 year old yelling from the third floor.
“I’m coming.” I called back up the stairs. “Where is Yisroel? Is the window shut?”
“MOOOMMY! My chess set!”
“Ok, Ok. Yisroel come down.”
………Wait a minute, let me back track for you.
Our dear son, Yisroel, has been going through a bit of a rough time. I think it began sometime during the end of last school year. Now, when I say “a bit of a rough time”, in my language, I mean more stimming, but in your language, the reader, I mean chaos. At least that’s the word that comes to my immediate mind.
So where should I begin?…..
Well, Yisroel loves to see things fly, glide and float through the air. He has discovered over the last few months that incredibly, every time he picks up the cat and throws her, no mater how far, she always lands on her feet… ok, all but one time…..
He has a fascination in watching things whirl down the toilet….
“Honey, we ran out of napkins.”
“No we didn’t, I just bought some at Costco.”
“Umm, I don’t see any.”
“Ok, so grab some paper towels while I go looking.”
“Moooomyyyy! the toilet is stuffed again… and it’s flooding!”
“Ok, for the millionth time, you only need two or three squares to wipe at a time. Now let me see whaaaat…..WHO THE HECK?! HONEY!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming….(more muttering under his breath….) What the?? Ok, nobody move. Honey, make sure the kids don’t come into the kitchen I don’t need anyone running in here doing the rain dance and sliding in toilet water…” and sure enough like clock work…
“STOOOOP! Out! Don’t move.” ….It’s amazing to see how many time a day we give our children mixed messages….
“But mommy I need the bathroom!”
“Well it’s out of commission right now, please use the one upstairs.”
“But I have to go noooooooowww! I’m going to have an accident!”
“Trust me, your accident down here is going to be a lot easier to clean up then that one over there.”
20 min later, a lot of towels and a spanking clean and sanitized kitchen floor later, things were looking pretty good.
“Honey, do you think that roll of toilet paper that was in toilet was the pack of napkins from Costco?”
Well, it turned out that it was more then just a Costco pack of napkins that went down the toilet. When my husband sent the snake down, it hit something hard, so fixing it right away was going to have to wait. The next morning we came down to a lot more then just brown in the toilet. It was almost beginning to look pretty. Toy cars, beads and the entire contents of our charity box…. When my brother saw it he said, “That’s some expensive crap you have there.” Now before you think, ummmm people, what about a child lock for the toilet lid? We had 3. They all broke. Let me know when BabiesRus makes one out of titanium.
I had mentioned Yisroel loves to see things fly. When he was younger he would chase those huge bees that look like they came out of Jumanji. I can officially tell you they don’t sting. He has chased hundreds of them and they almost seem to like him. I used to cross the street when I saw them… Well, ok, I still do unless I have Yisroel with me.
One morning at 6am, the boys came running into our room and said, “Mommy, Tatty (Daddy), there is glass everywhere! All over the kitchen floor! And staples! But don’t worry, we locked up Samson and put Coco in the basement!”
“And I assume you are wearing shoes, right?” (Of course not.)
This time the mess took a good hour and a half to clean up, God bless my husband. I think Yisroel wanted to see how light bulbs bounce….or not. And how did he reach the staples? Well, let’s just say Yisroel has turned into quite the acrobat.
And now, back to the iguana. Yisroel discovered a few weeks ago that the best way to see things fly is from the third floor window. I was in our bedroom doing laundry the first time I heard the strange noise. At first I thought it was a squirrel trying to get through the window. I slowly crept up to the window expecting to come face to face with a crazy wild squirrel. I braced myself, slowly reached for the shade and brushed it away as fast as I could. With all of the noise I was imagining the squirrel to be half human, but no. What was this? Marbles falling from somewhere? What?? My mind went blank trying to find an explanation for this. I think the accurate word that went through my mind was “HUH?” And then I heard Yisroel’s footsteps, running across the room to see what else would look neat flying though the sky, rolling down our roof and then on to the ground below.
“Srulllyyyyy!” I yelled. He came running down the stairs. The kids went out to clean up the yard. “Mommy, this is fun! It’s kind of like a scavenger hunnnnn…hey! Coco is one the roof!!! Noooo!”
“Don’t worry, I don’t think she’ll jump.” …although she did looked like she was trying to. “Don’t even think about it!” I told my son as he ran inside, but before I could blink he was on the roof, coaxing her back into the house.
As Yisroel ran by I caught a glimpse of his eyes. They looked unsettled. I felt bad. It’s so easy to feel guilty. I know it’s impossible to always have things just so. To always make sure the house is neat and orderly, that everything is put away, that the house is visually calm for him, that I have relaxing music playing in the background and a bin of sensory toys put aside for him like I used to have…. I wish I could do it all. I wish I could do it all, all the time. I love him with all my heart and I guess it just hurts to see him this way, but all I can do for him now is love him and not freak out myself. ….Although, when everything seems to have gone a little nuts, lately I have been feeling like all you can do is just smile. Well G-d certainly has a sense of humor. So what that he decided the toys needed a special coat of honey for that extra sensory experience, or that the dish soap became the new a la mode. I actually think that Iguana likes his new spot on the roof!
L’chaim!
Originally written on Oct 25, 2012
Matanot Of Eden 